Sunday, September 9, 2007

Day.... Whatever

Toob walked slowly up the hill where his mistress was sitting, surrounded by strange things.

Little piles of herbs, a small hill of yellow-white powder, metal implements and broken egg shells from half a dozen different birds - these all laid scattered around her as she sat in front of the pod's spare climate furnace. Beside that, a mound of blackened... something was piles almost as high as the steel fusion incinerator itself. She was staring at its front panel expectantly, as if something was going to happen.

"Pardon me, mistress, but what are you doing?"

Trill glanced up at the medical droid, her face covered in smudges of various colors and her hands just as messy. There were bowls in her lap and other containers near her feet. "Oh, hi Toob. I'm baking a cake."

The droid stood there, its processors trying to cope with the logic fallacies of baking acake on an alien world with no proper ingredients or utensils.

"In a fusion reactor?"


"With ground up random plants?"


"And dinosaur eggs?"

She smiled. "Right again."

Toob walked away slowly, leaving the mad woman to her delusions. If the big pile of burned matter beside the incinerator was what he thought it was, she had been at this for some time with no success. By the time he got to the bottom of the hill, a question forced itself to be asked.

"Mistress, why are you baking a cake?"

Trill called out over her shoulder, "Because it's our one month anniversary on this rock... I think." She kept staring at the fusion cell's main window, watching the makeshift cake pan inside for signs of scorching.

Toob could at least process that answer. Organics tended to commemorate odd holidays by eating unusual things. It wasn't a practice he understood but his digestive database contained the knowledge that around chosen dates of the galactic year, certain intestinal and stomach ailments became more prevalent. Humans ate too much animal flesh, Twi'leks ingested enough ryll to kill a gundark and Wookiees swallowed rocks. None of it made any sense but at least there was a precedent for the odd behavior.

"So you are celebrating the dodecatennial date of our forced captivity?"

She nodded. "So far, all correct."

He started walking away farther. Trill's increasingly strange actions were beginning to worry him in more than just a clinical sense. Before he could completely vacate the area, he found himself compelled to ask just one more thing.


"Yes, Toob?"

"After you manage to construct and bake a suitable confection, what do you intend to do?"

Trill laughed deeply and waved in his direction. "Silly 'bot... What else? I have to make icing!"

The medical droid started walking faster. There was a curved panel of the pod nearby and he suddenly felt a sincere need to hammer it flat with his cranial casing...

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